The Love Test
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So you think love is enough to get your marriage or long term relationship through the love test. Well think again. It’s not that easy. A complete contentness is vitally important to the health and welfare of your relationship.
Of course you have to have all the main ingredients that make a great relationship casserole through the love test. Open communication, a deep sense of loyalty and respect a heavy helping of friendship are vitally important. Any one of these missing ingredients in the love test can doom all the work and time that both of you have invested into the relationship. However you have to feel content.
In other words an intense feeling of being content with each other is essential. Content is defined as not wanting more. Are you wanting more than what you’re getting in your relationship. If the answer is yes, then it’s time to talk with your partner and open the line of communication.
When one party feels neglected or somehow overlooked this can lead to infidelity or cheating which is a real love test. Relationships that the love test usually have that person looking for something that he or she is not getting in the relationship. It could be a number of things like the loss of sexual appetite, the feeling of you don’t understand me anymore or financial insecurity.
How many marriages have ended due to such a love test? Although there are no stats that include these problems I would venture a guess and say that 100% of all divorces and long term relationship break-ups are due to one or more of these love test.
Relationships tend to fall into a regular routine. And before you know it you’re stuck in a rut and end up “settling”. There is a huge difference between settling and being content. When you settle you are missing something when you are content you are looking for nothing else.
Love only goes so far in a relationship, work will take you to being complete.
As anyone who is in a committed relationship will tell you, love is most certainly not enough when it comes to finding happiness in a partnership. Trust, communication, respect, and reciprocal friendship are important components in any relationship and the death of any one of these essential ingredients can often be a real love test and spell disaster for the relationship as a whole. But the fact remains that in the course of our union we will all be faced with an inevitable love test that can have one of several outcomes – the ending of the relationship, the continuing of the relationship that is now forever damaged by the love test, or the beginning of a new chapter in the relationship – one that signifies a much stronger union and the promise of a happy future.
One such relationship love test is one in which the trust of either or both partners is tested in the face of infidelity. There are many reasons that infidelity occurs in a relationship but it is – without fail – always indicative of a much larger problem in the relationship. In most cases, the partner who discovers the infidelity will immediately end the relationship or perhaps continue in the relationship because there are children involved or financial reasons that make the continuance of the union a practical decision. In either case, the couple has lost the opportunity to emerge from the love test stronger and much more committed to a future in which they both feel a part. If both parties are invested in the continuing of the relationship, professional counselling can provide a chance to get to know each other again and rebuild a solid foundation of trust after the love test. As incredible as it may sound, the love test can be one – that if passed – can deliver the couple to new heights of love and partnership.
Many a couple has experienced the love test in which finances are the star. Money is one of the prime factors over which couples argue and even separate. This often comes from a base history of handling money differently, based upon the ways in which we were all taught to think about finances from our parents. When two people come together with very different financial compasses, they are often left feeling frustrated and disrespected by each other. There is financial counselling available that works with couples of this very kind of love test. Such counseling allows couples to move past their preconceived ideas about money and reformulate a shared goal and plan for finances in their relationship. If statistics are correct, then 50% of couples who face this financial relationship love test have failed, losing each other to their different feelings about money. But if you approach this situation as a challenge and seek resources that can help you redefine your relationship in this capacity, you can move on to a respectful relationship with shared values.
Every couple will face the love test in their lifetime; such is the inevitability of love. But if you love and respect each other enough, you can move through the challenge and emerge into a place of light, love, and happiness.
What is true love
I’m sure that at least once in your life you have met an ideal couple, who everyone could see was very happy in being together isn’t it wonderful when you meet a couple who have passed the love test.
What can you do so that you and your partner will be among the happiest couples who have also passed the love test?
You have to care about learning many things about the person you love, even before getting involved with them.
Love and happiness in life are hard to find, and even harder to be kept for life. So, ideal couples are in fact very rare, not many people pass the love test.
What can you do in order to find the ideal person for you, or how can you judge the person you already love, how can you pass the love test?
The love test step 1. You have to pay attention to their reactions. If they are selfish and they don’t care about the way you feel, this means that you have to think seriously if you really want to have an affair with them…
The love test step 2. There are 8 different psychological types that define everyone’s personality. You have to have an idea of how they match together to see if you and your partner really fit together.
The love test step 3. There are many dangers in a relationship that you must learn how to avoid.
These are your basic first steps to pass the love test. But there are many more…
To pass the love test you also have to pay attention to everything about the other person. Carefully analyze their style, their answers, their behavior, everything you can.
The love test depends on your seriousness. Life is not a toy and the human being is very wild, since they have already inherited too much absurdity in the anti-conscience, the primitive part of their brain.
You have to be very careful so that you don’t get involved with people that will only make you suffer!
If you want to be really happy in life, not only in love, as well as in all fields, you have to learn how to transform your own personality first of all, so that you’ll always be balanced and wise.
Besides that, you’ll know very well who the people that live around you are, since you’ll have information about everything in your own dreams.
Be intelligent and responsible, and you’ll certainly find true love on your way to passing the love test, happiness in life, and they will not only last for life but will help other people believe in love and happiness thanks to your example, since you and the person you love will be an ideal couple admired by everyone!
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If you are in love and you are afraid to reveal your feelings, there’s a big chance that you may be too aggressive with the person you love, exactly because you are too afraid to reveal your weakness, this will mean you might fail the love test.
As a result, you are too cold with them and you don’t help them in any way. Your behavior with them is not normal behavior. If they were any other person, you would not be so rude. As a matter of fact, you would not be rude at all, but kind and gentle.
However, because you are trying to hide your weakness in front of this special person, you are an iceberg with them, completely indifferent to their problems and pain. You never help them and never show any sympathy.
You are always afraid that they may interpret any kindness as a sign of weakness and conclude that you are dying of love. You are afraid that they will destroy you completely if they tell you that they don’t want you.
Because you are so afraid, you are never kind and helpful with them as you would be if they were not so special to you. Because of your fear, you hurt them. You are aggressive, insensitive, distant, and selfish. In other words, the perfect monster. Of course you cannot inspire love…
How romantic! Instead of smiling and being kind, you are rude, cruel, and absurd.
Perhaps you imagine that “when you’re finally together” you’ll be able to make him or her forget this image completely. You imagine that “they will understand your weakness” and forgive you for your cruelty.
You may even try to test their reactions and provoke them with a lot of painful experiences, in order to see if they are going to abandon you or if they are going to find another flirt. If and if and if, until you’re sure you can reveal to them the most secret feeling in the universe: the love you feel for them.
However, you are not considering a possibility that you should consider from the beginning: perhaps they won’t wait to see the other, nicer side of your personality after seeing how cold and immature you are.
Of course, you have to also realize that there are a few intelligent people in this world who can understand the meaning of human reactions and who will discover your secret, only because you are being aggressive instead of kind and gentle, as you would be if you were not trying to hide your feelings.
My advice is this: if you cannot be normal, pretend you are normal on purpose. Do many normal things in a very normal way, even though you may feel horrible because you believe that you should not be so kind with that special person, since it is obvious that they are going to understand that you desperately love them and that they can kill you with their rejection.
Pretend that they are not this special person, but somebody else not so important.
This is the only way to avoid the neurosis that will certainly dominate you if you insist on being cruel and distant, simply because you want to hide your feelings from the person you love.